Daniela Cohen

Daniela Cohen – My Story

I’m passionate about facilitating meaningful connections across differences. That passion traces back to my childhood in apartheid South Africa. Growing up white in a system of institutionalized racism, I witnessed injustice all around me while feeling the deep loss of being cut off from connection with peers of different races.

Fourteen years after immigrating to Canada, I returned to South Africa to volunteer with Amazwi, a nonprofit organization empowering rural African women to share their stories. That experience shaped my lifelong commitment to creating spaces where voices that have been silenced can be heard. Since then, I’ve spent over fifteen years supporting refugees and immigrants in both South Africa and Canada and leading initiatives that foster equity, inclusion, dialogue, and belonging.

It was only during my postgraduate studies that I learned more about the shared history of oppression against Indigenous peoples in Canada and South Africa. As a settler on this land, I’m committed to ongoing learning and to doing my part to advance reconciliation and justice.

 

Why I Do This Work

Most people know me as a conflict transformation practitioner, facilitator, and women’s leadership coach.

What you may not know is why this work matters so much to me.

Years ago, I was working at a center supporting refugees in Cape Town.

I sat in an office where the door would not stop opening.

A teacher needed help.
A student had missed an exam.
A volunteer needed direction.

And every time, I said yes.

Because the work mattered.
Because the people mattered.
Because if I did not do it, who would?

At first, it felt meaningful.

But slowly, something shifted.

One afternoon I stared at that office door with dread, thinking,

“If one more person asks me for one more thing, I am going to scream.”

I was exhausted. And then came the guilt.

How dare I feel tired when the people we serve have survived so much?

I looked around. Everyone else seemed fine. So I thought it must just be me. I felt so alone.

Eventually, my body shut down.

I had to take time off work because I had reached complete burnout.
Not the kind you fix with a long weekend.
The kind where your system says, “No more.”

What scared me most was not just how bad I felt.
It was realizing I might lose the very work that mattered so deeply to me.

That was my wake-up call.

I tried meditation. Breathwork. Even a silent retreat.
They helped temporarily. But nothing stuck.

Then I found a woman-centered coaching program.

The coach said something that changed my life:

“The overgiving you call generosity is actually a pattern of tying your worth to your work.”

Everything stopped.

I saw myself clearly for the first time.

I was not just overworked.
I felt responsible for everything.
And I did not know how to separate who I was from what I did.

I have learned that when your worth is tied to how much you carry, burnout is inevitable.

And the only way out is to separate your worth from your work.

Change did not happen overnight.

Day by day, I practiced new choices.

I clarified what actually mattered to me. My values. My vision. My North Star.

I began setting boundaries, one “no,” one protected calendar block at a time.

I learned to make clear requests for support instead of silently absorbing everything.

And I stopped doing it alone. I stepped into a circle of women who held me accountable to a different way of leading.

In a later role, a boss announced I would be covering his responsibilities while he was away.

Old me would have absorbed it.
New me requested a meeting.

“I am happy to take this on,” I said. “And I will need compensation aligned with those responsibilities.”

There was a pause. He just looked at me.

Then he asked, “How much?”

We negotiated nearly double.

I left that meeting shaking, not from fear, but from power.

That moment was proof that my worth was no longer dependent on over-functioning.

And slowly, my life changed.

Today, I run my own practice.

I choose values-aligned projects.
I say no to what is not mine to carry.

On a bright afternoon, I can step outside and walk along the ocean near my home.

I can lead powerfully without sacrificing myself.

My work still matters deeply.
But it is no longer who I am.

I began to see that the divides we carry inside ourselves shape the way we show up in our leadership, our relationships, and our organizations.

And because I have done that inner work, I can keep doing work that matters sustainably.

This is why I do what I do.

Because too many purpose-driven women in leadership roles are silently burning out.

They feel responsible for everything.
They absorb extra work, emotional labour, and unspoken expectations.

And over time, that costs them their time, their energy, their health, and eventually their ability to keep doing the work that matters to them.

I help these women separate their worth from their work and set boundaries that stick, so they can reclaim their time, energy, and joy and keep making the impact they care about.

If you see yourself in this story, you are not alone.

Burnout is not the price of purpose.

You do not have to earn your worth through exhaustion.

There is another way to lead.

A way where your work still matters deeply but it does not cost you yourself.

A way where you protect your energy, honor your limits, and keep making the impact you care about sustainably.